Thursday, April 1, 2010

Where Did You Come From, Where Did You Go?

This past year has been an interesting roller coaster of fabulous people, crazy experiences, and life-changing encounters. There was no way I could ever know I would be where I am right now. At all.

Anyone who knows me personally already knows the insane story that is the past few months of my life, but this is the internet and assuming anyone reading this knows me personally is just silly. So, I'll elaborate. Hopefully I can keep this post less than book length.

As of my last post I was living in Avondale, Arizona-a section of the Greater Phoenix Metropolitan Area over 20 minutes from anything remotely interesting. I was living in a small studio apartment with a very nice boy and everything I could possibly need. I was a weekend anarchist, hosting tea/discussion parties and helping with Food Not Bombs. I cooked, cleaned, and was able to pursue any creative interest the wind blew me toward. Thus all the crafting posts. That was my life. I wanted more, but I didn't know it then.

I wanted an adventure, so I kissed my sweetie good bye and hitchhiked to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania last September for a protest. I won't elaborate too much, but suffice it to say my faith in humanity was restored while my personality was thoroughly exfoliated of all the unnecessary anxiety and hang ups I had let build up over time. I was free. While wandering the wonderfully confusing streets of The 'Burgh, I fell in love with it. I also realized that I craved an independence I didn't know I had been missing. I saw a help wanted sign in the window of a restaurant and knew in that moment I could make a place for myself in Pittsburgh. So I just stayed. I left everything in Phoenix behind, even the boy, and focused on setting up a new life.

In Pittsburgh I had tons of friends. I was dancing every other night at least, and playing Obscure Games in between. I was riding my adorable bike everywhere-including to the bakery job I had that helped me barely contribute to the house I was staying in. Life was so very good. I had an interview for a temp agency, a date with a boy I met online, and a visit planned to the school I had applied to. Then, suddenly, as quickly as I had grabbed it, it all slipped right through my fingers. I lost my job, got kicked from the place I lived, romantically rejected from the boy I was hanging out with, and rejected from the school I applied to. I had to make a decision, and I had to leave Pittsburgh. The best four months of my life were over. I got sick on the train to my dad's, found out a couple days after I got there that my car in Phoenix had been towed. A friend of mine died. A little while later I had my heart crushed.

I stayed with my dad a week. I stayed with my sister a week. I stayed with a friend in Cincinnati for two weeks. Mostly I spent a lot of time on the floor staring at the ceiling and trying to vent. Finally, I made my way back to Phoenix to stay with some friends there and try to get my life back together.

That was back from mid-January to mid-February. This hasn't been my best year so far, but things are looking up!

I have a trip planned this summer culminating in my going to school in Cincinnati in the fall. I have people waiting for me there, and a plethora of adventures planned for in between.

I dove in, hit rock bottom, dug a little further, then started swimming up. I thought for a minute there I was going to drown, but with the help of my friends and family and a few bad decisions that were great distractions I've managed to break the surface. Now I can move on. Now I can be free again.

UPDATE 9/10: another friend died, I didn't go on my trip, one of the relationships I was looking forward to didn't work out, and I couldn't get enough money to go to school. (I'm sure I'm forgetting things, but I don't really want to delve anymore)

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